Euology for Mike Tetta

This man I knew walked with elastic energy; a great rubbery mass of electric joy, attracted instantaneously by the illimitable, myriad forms of human interaction: It exploited incisively, at any moment, and with un-impinged honesty and full exuberance.
The squat merchant ship of his body, massive dreaded tendrils swinging wildly back and forth, bashed about the waves, taking in whatever cargo would bring his men joy. He was a drunken careener, a master of a modern day, free associative rhetoric, a knight, a destroyer, a displaced tribal king unfurled in a hostile time and place.
The tidal wave of his life crashed though the cardboard placards of institutions indomitably, fearlessly and with all the alacrity of a fucking parade. He was a raging torrent of creative impulses, flooding over any imposed boundaries or constrictions. The fingers of his brain were like lightning bolts, blasting into existence, unexpectedly and at every turn, something completely and utterly fantastic and original.
Everyone who came into contact with him was entranced and wonderstruck, outdone, outmatched. If you tried to argue with him, you would have found yourself smack dab in the pathway of brute freight train of unadulterated force and emotion. He may not have always had the right words or logic, but somehow, as an opponent, one was always forced to back down. And this was not as a result of any sort of physical intimidation, but rather just a fiery, orange-red spiritual glow that seemed to explode out of the amalgam of his movements, facial expressions and strange atavistic noises, and which could not be quelled or combated.
This maelstrom of unmitigated energy and fearlessness was matched and balanced, though, by a calm, unbiased, almost monk-like acceptance of people. There were no ostensible gestures of kindness in his nature. He met you with clear eyes, and treated you as an equal human being – there were no spurious grins or heartless gestures.
No, such a thing would have been the diametric opposite of his true nature: Heart. His life spewed out of, what I can only imagine to have been, the supernaly bright blazing sun of his heart. This could not be stifled. And maybe this, tragically, was the cause of his downfall: There was no fearful or timid questioning in his nature, there was only the tumbling unfurling of his happiness and hilarity. The force that drove him was too powerful to be tempered by cold steel desks, or sterile textbook truths; his knowledge was deeper than this, more primal, more full of life. He was a modern day Captain Blackbeard – an energetic paragon of that highest of human ideals: Freedom.
Now, his ship has gone down into those same black, unfathomable depths that rise and undulate underneath us all, waiting to release their traps. And when we go, each his own way, who among us will be able to claim the same unmitigated, unassailable, and unquenchable glory of this man, a Captain and a core to so many, Mike Tetta: Mr. Smayham. Good bye good friend.

The Encounter, (an assignment from a creative wrtiting class)

The highway was the epitome of desolation: On either side rose up vast walls of amalgamated ice and snow that towered so high, Mike and Loretta could not see the surrounding country as they sped along. These white winter carapaces were contrasted only by the infinity of darkness, speckled with resplendent, brilliant dots of light that stretched above them mysteriously. They felt surprisingly out of place, unwanted, in this frozen midnight fortress of winter. The ubiquity of the cold was legible in all the features of the monotonous tunnel that they bored through. The ice on the snow bank walls gleamed mercilessly and jaggedly in the rays of the moonlight, whose point of origin they could not discern. And, though the heat in their jeep was on high, creating a more than comfortable atmosphere, they could almost feel the cold outside, like it was struggling to get in. They were on there way to a ski mountain - ironically to recreate in the bosom of the haunted elements that they fought so hard to avoid at present.
The radio was reverberating lightly, as Loretta looked absentmindedly at her boyfriend from the passenger seat and asked, “When do you think we’ll get there?”
Mike turned, averting his attention from the road momentarily, “I don’t know, hopefully soon. Let me think,” his brow rose in contemplation for a few moments before answering, “We left at what, mmmhh, 5 o’clock, and it takes about, well, I’d say…” His deliberations were suddenly interrupted by a jagged thud, which burst forth from the front of the jeep, jarring both of it’s occupant like a couple of rag dolls, and causing the car to swerve and spin drunkenly out of control, just narrowly missing the massive white cornices which buttressed them in. Mike battled this frantic locomotion with every iota of his ability - the action more instinctive than anything else – and managed to channel the vast erratic maelstrom of their movement into a manageable pattern, bringing the hulk of the jeep to a screeching halt in the middle of the road –Loretta and himself being forcibly kept from smashing into the fragile glass in front of them by the tenacity of their seatbelts.
Each breathed heavily, attempting to oxygenate their adrenaline saturated bodies that seemed wired with electricity. The sound of the idling engine was now surprisingly peaceful and stabilizing. The car was almost perpendicular to the axis of the road, as Mike asked dumbstruck, in between laborious breaths and seemingly to no one, “What the hell was that? What the hell could that have been?”
The vociferous rapidity of the events had so startled Loretta that she could formulate no reply. She looked incoherent and dazed.
He turned to her, “Well, what do you think?”
“I don’t know,” was all she could shakily stammer, “You haven’t had anything to drink, have you?”
The inanity of this reply scalded Mike’s pride. He turned angrily toward her, “What are you talking about? You know I haven’t been drinking. We must have hit something – a deer or something,” he retorted.
“Well, I don’t know,” she defended herself, “It’s just that I didn’t see anything, and, well, you know, it wouldn’t be the first time.”
His face flushed, as he turned to her again, exasperated, “For god’s sake, we had to have hit something.” He looked at her sternly, “I have not been drinking.”
She didn’t respond, but stared absently forward.
A hoarse groan of remonstrance erupted from his throat and gut as he pivoted angrily away from her and opened the door. The night burst in upon the car in a vengeful bellow of cold and pitiless air.
“Shit” he muttered, “Is it cold,” as he tightened the collar of his thin sweater around his neck and stepped forth into the unrelenting atmosphere. Above him, the tremendous howling of wind sounded like a host of vicious and belligerent harpies. His eyes scanned the surrounding area and focused in on the spot where he figured they had hit something, but he saw nothing.
“What the hell.” he muttered to himself as he closed the door and began to walk across the frost bitten ground, which appeared to cringe in the winter cold.
After a few moments alone, Loretta began to wonder what Mike was doing and so decided to have a look. She emerged from the car and turned to see Mike stumbling about the road, bowing his head to the ground and turning it in different directions like a tracker hot on the trail of his prey. But there was an incomprehensibility manifested in his behavior, as well. She saw him scratch his head and spit to the ground in perturbation. It looked to her as if he was speaking to himself, trying to reason out a conclusion to a very difficulty quandary. All the while, the cold bit into her especially hard, and the night still loomed dark and terrible above her. She was somewhat frightened by the state of affairs: their solitude and nakedness in the extreme harshness of the weathers which were now assaulting them like a gleeful parade of demons.
“Do you see any thing?” she hollered over the domineering wind.
He looked up, “No!”
“Well, then lets get the hell out of here. It’s freezing for god’s sake.” Her nervousness was legible upon her face as she shrunk back into the automobile.
Mike, who had been diving into the depths of his knowledge like a submarine, could find no precedent for their situation. He was absolutely stumped, and the cold, hard ambivalent elements were constantly forcing him to surface from his deliberations and confront the physical harshness of the menagerie of his sensual experience.
Gradually, the portentousness of their strange, unsolvable situation began to crawl into his heart like a tarantula. Fear took a slight hold of him, and so, he decided to heed his girlfriend’s advice and return to the vehicle. He moved toward the car with the swiftness evinced by any creature which desires egress out of the hostility of nature’s more astringent, hibernal concoctions.
As he arrived at the car and placed his hand on the cold steel of its door, a sigh of relief flooded through his body euphorically. He quickly opened the latch and hopped in, slamming the door quickly behind him, as if there was a murderer who could have been stopped by that simple gesture. He began to blow repeatedly into his clasped hands. His face was textured by the cold: red and rough and sensitive. He quickly turned up the heat, which sounded, ironically, like a reduced, more level version, of the mystical wind - howling around the car with all the appetite of a starved, voracious wolf.
Loretta looked at him: Though his face was now assailed by the bombardments of the winter, he seemed somehow calmer, less agitated - this perplexed her.
He smiled weakly as he put the car in gear, the low but indomitable, and visceral growl of the engine comforting him, “Well, whatever was out here before, sure ain’t out here any longer”
He attempted a fabricated, laugh, Loretta nervously looking on, as he eased his foot onto the accelerator and hastened their escape.
The night remained impersonal, and mysterious as ever above them, as they sped away. The snow banks were standing like the scales of some amorphous monster, and a shadow, surprisingly animate, fleeted across the tattooed rubber remains of their encounter.

The Will to Life, (A rough first essay)

The metaphor: Nature as man. Does nature exert any conscious control over itself? Do the entities seemingly produced by natural processes possess wills of their own? There have to be funny lines drawn here- and perhaps erased – to even attempt to create a thorough understanding, or to arrive at some sort of logical consensus regarding this.

One would assume that a single animal - a badger, a fox a bear, a wolf - which roams around the forest, seeks, hunts, hides and sleeps by all appearances by itself, one would assume, or could categorize this animal as possessing a singular will: A personal control over itself. But to admit this, one then must conclude that the entity under consideration actually possesses an identity: A conscious knowledge of itself. This would seem to be a determining factor in attributing to an entity the quality of free will.

In terms of a human being, it can be said that I possess a conscious identity constructed from a vast assortment of agreements and beliefs that reside within the parameters of my awareness. I am conscious over myself and therefore feel that my actions are a result of my conscious control. But is there really much of a difference between the wild animal roaming in the field and the singular human being engaged in any manner of the plethora of activities available to him in this modern age.

To examine this, one has to first examine and understand the broad strokes that initiate action: The general desires and causes which can be said to be universal and all encompassing.

There is, first and foremost, the will to survive. Now in as much as there is no such thing as an absolutely, and irrevocably “universal truth”, I take this statement as fact. All life can be said to posses the will to survive. I want to live and therefore I do not kill myself. But this innate drive is compounded by other drives, or more rightly put, subdivided into other drive-categories, such as the drive to consume food, water and to create shelter. These are sub-categories contained within the will to live, because they are the mode, or methods, by which that will is fulfilled.

This is an important link because everything that is, must necessarily, at bottom, want to be. But to say the word want in the sense of a conscious desiring of something once again brings up the issue of identity, individualization and will. Therefore if something is not conscious of itself, and subsequently unable to want, then that something can be said to be wanted to exist by the general will to life that manifests itself in the very fact that life is and that the things of life engage in behavior to further ensure that they will continue to live. Entities possessing the capacity of locomotion hunt, hide, stay warm and reproduce, while entities not possessing the power of locomotion – such as all the different species contained within the vegetable kingdom – engage in behaviors to further ensure their own survival, as in hunting for sunlight, extending roots and casting out seeds.

One could argue that the different forms that are represented in the vegetable kingdom are the result only of natural processes; that there is no desire functioning but only a mechanical interaction of lifeless forces. I would say that to assert this is a matter of opinion. In one sense a tree can be understood as simply a construction of purely mechanical processes, but in another sense can be seen to be a product of a fundamental will to live that is present within all things that live. This is where the lines of awareness and will must be drawn.

If a tree exerts no active will upon its fate, then can a human being still be said to retain such a power. A human has no control over physical growth, for like it or not one is born, will eat and will grow. If a person decides not to do any of these things, then such a person will die, and so will no longer be part of life, nor be a subject to its governing force of will to live.

Can a distinction be drawn at the line between those entities that posses locomotive power and those that do not? A tree, as it is completely unable to move its location, is looked at, generally, as possessing less control over itself then is a human being or any entity that possesses the power to move itself. But as I am a product of the same fundamental will to life that motivates the tree and the fox and any wild animal in the woods, am I not really all that dissimilar from it, or them? There is an added level of complexity present within the case of the human being, as he is, more than any other of the aforementioned creatures, a societal organism. Not only does a human being possess the same basic drives that can be found anywhere else in nature, but he also possesses more societal and less fundamental ones. For instance, a man can be motivated so much by greed that he forsakes the will to life and engages in behavior that brings about his demise. Such behavior, in terms of a philosophy delegating positivism to the sustaining of life, would have to be considered disease like in nature. There is a possible correlation here to the seven deadly sins of Christian doctrine, or other ethical practices expounded by other religions and philosophers the world over. Perhaps there is a fundamental universal will to life that is somehow singularly demented by the human organism.

This is incredibly apropos in terms of the present predicament with the environment. As man has developed more complex drives and desires than simply the will to live, he has created obstacles to the sustaining of that will. But as man can be said to be at the highest phase of evolution on the planet, in that he is the most complex and most specialized, it would also have to be assumed that the fundamental governing will of all things that live is either in opposition to the forces of evolution or simply attempting to attain the eradication of itself. This is a somewhat strange paradox, but one that may be somewhat plausible, in that the motivations present within the species of man, and also those that are determining factors in his separation from and elevation above the things of nature (his higher evolutionary calling), are those which seem to subvert the governing will which has brought him to this place.

But there is also a flipside to the will to life, and that is, in order for life to sustain itself, it must cause death. A thing can only perpetuate its existence by consuming other things. Whether an entity is ambulatory or not, an carnivore or an herbivore, it still must feed on other living stuff in order for it to survive. This is the grand dialectic of all existence. The two most basic and contradictory forces wrapped up and entwined and enabling all that is: Life and death. But as it can be seen, death is simply a necessity of will to life which, by its very nature, does not desire death. It is a strange paradox, but one that can be reconciled by the realization of perspective.

The will to life is not an individually motivated phenomenon but is rather a force that desires the broad perpetuation of what it is that is life. Therefore, in the case of a human being, in whom there is an aware identity or an ego, the will to life is working through him in order to perpetuate life, though a better way of looking at this would be to say that it is harnessing his will to its. It is, in a manner of speaking, subverting whatever there is of his individual will – if, indeed, there is anything at all. For as an individual he does not directly experience the fact that he is consuming and causing to other things the exact same effect that, at bottom, he is distancing himself from as much as possible, in the very act of him causing it! By bringing death to other things he is himself pushing it as far away from himself as possible. This is the strange paradox of pain begetting pleasure, defeat begetting triumph. All qualities or states must necessarily, in order to exist, have their antithesis’s, which are really only complementary manifestations of underlying processes. That which lives brings death, while that which dies brings life. Each is the cause or the enabling factor of the other.

To return to the human example: While man, in his attainment of the highest – thus far – grade of evolution, has developed the most perverted mutations of will and desire in nature, he has also developed some of the most beautiful and brightest. While he has come to create hate, greed, bias, covetousness, sadism and masochism, he has also created love, cooperation, charity and kindness. Now in as much as all things are, at base, caused by the will to live, which is the cause of death, so to can the attainment of these higher virtues be looked at as complimentary and necessary to each other.

The act of love requires the ability to differentiate an object and to pour upon it the most beneficent of all desires. But, contrarily, it is the ability to differentiate, to single out something and to relate yourself to it in a qualitative way that also enables the action or the thought of hate. Love and hate both come about as a result of qualitative comprehension. I cognize the fact that the qualities of such a person, place or thing have such a tremendously positive effect on me that I react with emotion of love, while, contrarily, in the case of hate, I internalize an incredibly negative relationship between the object and myself, and, therefore, produce the emotion of hate towards it. The same machinery that allows me to produce love is also that machinery which allows me to produce hate.

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A Personal Ethos

Chaos is not the Word. Incidentally, neither is Anarchy. And fuck materialism and fuck nilhilism, as well. Faith is the only vehicle that can get you any place worth travelling to - and this is where existentialism comes into play, (though the Law always supercedes).

Pride is a close friend of Possession.

For some Spirits, Solitude is a powerful elixer.

The Human Gateway: A Conceptual Appropriation of Blake, Pasternak, Thomas and Castaneda

The Sexual needle, the fleshy thread

Weave out from eternity - the void; a new life is lead.

Like a flower from the soil formed;

Blooming forth, a new life born

In chains of flesh and bones and nerves

An anvils’s hammer has crashed and swerved

To build a barn of eyes and ears,

New desires and new fears,

A righetous sword and empty bow

To seek the Summer through the snow.

Dead emperors upon him soon

Cast out from air their vacant tomb:

The treachery witnessed by Blake;

The endless thirst for their own sake.

The vegetative roots then plunge -

The hammer’s crashing to expunge

The emptiness of the endless vortex;

The endless vacuum- the flesh a pretext.

The desires burn; A nervous scourge -

An Angels doctrine to engorge,

Laughing in high merriment

As the blood through time is sent.

It furrows like a worm through Earth -

The unborn always seeking birth.

Above the clouds, Doom waits alone

With great might to murder bone.

My mind is Spirit and my flesh a rock,

Though I shall pass like slaughtered stock,

This form remains eternally;

The Angel’s craft: The human Be.

Circumnavigation: Maine

Maine is a land of seemingly endless pine forests and pristine, but harsh, ocean and coastline. Maine elicits a feeling, a sense garnered from being in it, which is hard to explain. There is something in Maine, something in its people and in its land, which is raw and pure. The Summers are crisp and have strong breezes infused with pelagic scents emanating off of the sea. The Fall is portentous and cool with a great medley of colors emerging from the plethora of trees not of the coniferous variety. The winters are generally, but not always, frigid and powerful: There is snow, there are great and mighty rivers choked with jagged blocks of ice. The Spring is short and potent – and I feel that this is fitting for Maine- for what need is there of Spring in a land that seems to detest, to a degree, the pleasant bedizenment most associated with this season. Maine is an old land with a stolid core. Yet it is also a land that is continuously altered, and that is also continuously evolving.

This being so, I feel the most adequate attempt that can be made to define Maine, or to poetically interpret it, would have to be made from the perspective of being in time: To look at Maine as it lives and breathes through all of its seasons. For Maine is a mutable person, and the people bred and reared upon its land are the voice by which it communicates with the rest of the world – in both actions and words, but mostly in way.

The Maine way is the rustic, simple and strong way. It is a way of calm abiding and deliberate action. It is somewhat stoic and apathetic, but retaining a Northern sort of patience and kindness. It is cold, deep-blue waters - rough and filled with salt and almost appearing like amorphous rock - constantly lapping at ridged blankets, and towers of lichen-crusted stone: Stone reaching down into the water’s depths and retaining all manner of darkened tidal life: Life revealed when this lower portion of stone is stripped naked by the powerful pull of the vicissitudinous moon. The prodigious range of the tide is a paradigm of Maine itself; a metaphor of an epitomizing quality: Grandness.

I know a beach that extends for at least the length of a football field at low tide and then is swallowed up like a small candy at high tide; leaving only a minute kernel of what was existent before. This is part of the grandness of Maine. At this same beach a cliff face rises straight out of the sand like some fantastic, burrowing snake emerging for air. It flings itself at least 100 feet into the sky and extends itself at least twice that distance forward. If one looks the other way, south or southeast, they see the daunting globe of the Atlantic Ocean. And when I say globe, I mean it. For one sees the ocean like a vast, extensive hill or hummock – I still cannot figure out how anyone could ever conceive of the Earth as not being round, at least anyone that lived near an ocean. It rises before one and fills them with a slight sense of apprehension and dread, like as if they were looking out on the back of some fantastic, poised sea giant: Rock and barnacles for a face and great, thick locks of seaweed for hair. The wind blows with raw, archaic fury there, like the battle drums of nature herself: It whistles, it howls, it tears, it wrenches and it cools. It sweeps off the ocean like a tremendous breath; carrying upon its back all the cadaverous remnants of its origin. It smells like pure power as it grabs your hair and flings it; unaffectedly sweeping past you with all the indifference of a man walking through malleable grasses: Grandness.

This beach is Maine in the Summer time. It is the symbol of Maine’s collected and cognizant warmth. There is nothing gaudy or ostentatious about it. There is only a feeling of tested balance, harmony and beauty: Robust beauty; beauty like an august Caribou; not like an exorbitantly ornamented jungle bird, or a dank alligator or crocodile.

Traveling more westerly and inland, an omnipresence of forest confronts one. There is a mountain nearby that I like to climb called the Bumper. It is a rather short hike with a steep and bedraggled incline. Upon reaching the summit one finds a great and massive boulder - like the shoulder of some lackadaisical colossus - that provides the surmounting individual with a phenomenal view of the surrounding landscape. And what does one find? Forest. In the Autumn, if you hike up this mountain, you see a great menagerie of colors sparkling below you through a crisp and cool atmosphere. It is like a Jackson Pollack masterpiece has been proliferated upon the wings of all the brilliantly fading trees. And, in the midst of this colorful siege, meandering throughout the whole canvass like a thread, is the stark, eternal green of the pines. It is a splendid sensory accretion, witnessed from a temporarily kaleidoscopic bastion. The dusty detritus from the falling leaves fills the air. This autumnal scent intertwines with the constancy of the sappy pine being exuded. It rubs up against your nostrils as you breathe it in, becoming exhilarated and catalyzed. It is pure and untouched, glimmering and chilled.

I remember hiking Mt. Kathadin at the beginning of the Fall a few years ago. It was a great spire pluming out of the land like a synechdechoche of some indeterminable power; unabashedly raising and tossing the Earth about with ease. Rivers spilled down the sides of this behemoth like spindle threads of aqueous crystal. They danced over the rocks lithely, raising no issue with any abrupt absence of land, as they cast themselves off the sides of cliffs in continuous veins and crashed in a drum rolling fury to resume their journey down the face. There was something about the placement of the rocks - the water curling lucidly around any impediment – that just inspired tremendous felicity and awe. You’d reach your hands into the turbulent effluence and feel the kind pulse of the land wash through you: cold, refreshing. You’d take a drink and it was like engulfing the pure heart of Maine. The only word that comes to mind in recollection is mesmerizing.

The actual hike up the mountain was a strenuous endeavor that involved the ascendency of a steep face of ancient stone. It taught respect and awe, if nothing else, and showed that nothing worth achieving can come easily. This, again, is part of the total circumference of quality that one finds in Maine. Poignant autumnal beauty, though, is but the fine carpet laid down for the coming of Maine’s utmost patron: Winter.

When Maine’s winter comes rumbling down, it is like the onslaught of a tempestuous Goddess - if Winter indeed finds Maine. When it truly does, it forcibly exacts from anyone, or anything, any complacency that has formed during the Summer and Fall. Maine’s winters are part of its legacy. The qualities elicited by surviving through a staunch and powerful Maine Winter are the touchstones that determine if something, or someone, is strong enough to be from and of Maine. For Maine is a northern land - governed more by the parameters of what is cold and desolate then anything else – and so exhibits “Maineness” most entirely in, and by, anything that can forge its way through the epitome of coldness: Winter. Pine trees embody this winter bred “Maineness”, as do Maine’s eminent mountains. These elements exude toughness and fortitude. The pine tree is built of rough and ragged armor: It is pliant as a scrawny, struggling youth, but becomes rigid, thick and strong as it grows older. The mountains live in an almost indeterminate winter; shielding themselves against voluminous winds in thick blankets of hardy trees and great bones of aged, well wrought stone.

Whoever has skied at Sugarloaf during the apex of winter knows the harsh and cold indifference that periodically finds birth within Maine. A new Strength and terror ride within the wind; like it has transitioned to become fueled by the same furnaces that clang out the ice. It ceases to be the kind, mellow and fragrant breeze that one can find in the Summer and Fall, and becomes something heinous and magnified. It screeches and tears, becomes built of claws and howls like a timber wolf; running ubiquitously over and through the mountains in an unrelenting fury. It brings pain and seeks tenderness. It forces strength. You find a way to courageously and steadfastly confront it, or are forced to hobble and shrivel away, defeated.

Sugarloaf, at this time, is a coalescence of Coldness. Besides the wind, there are other blustery intrusions of Winter. Sharp pinnacles of ice hang inverted from gutters like fine marble statues. Their presence conveys and algetic, pitiless essence. They are metaphors of winter: Warning signs cast out, exhorting all wise enough to heed them that the presence of some stringent and dangerous force is nigh. Throughout this numinous freezing process the snow falls upon the world like a ferocious beast. Blizzards catapult upon the land in vast pelletings of snow that swill out all vision in white, discretely amalgamated dominances of the airs. They cause density and disruption, and are thick expostulations against movement; desiring to make all still and dead.

It is interesting to note that this test of Winter does not only apply to humans, but to all animate and inanimate objects that reside within the state. The state itself must survive itself; must prove its worthiness to be. All the rocks, trees, rivers, waters and coastline are tested at this time. They are seasoned; cast into Maine from the blazing forges of winter. Failure, while to a typical Maine tourist can simply mean expulsion and return to the land from whence they came, to many a thing will mean death. Victory results in the becoming and encompassment of “Maineness”: What is Maine survives, while what isn’t passes on. The test can sometimes last for quite a long time, succeeding well into and past the vernal equinox. I know that I, and can only imagine many other persons or things, am almost always ready for the return of the warmer climes; the period when one takes a breath, and when Winter begins to capitulate: The Spring.

Maine’s Spring arrives laggardly. It trails on Winter slowly and dully, almost pitifully, like a runt in a family of dogs trying to gain dominance over the alpha. The bully of Winter refuses to depart. It remains like some bombastic body builder refusing to grant ascendency to another. And when it finally does leave, it is by the hair and nails, amidst echoes of screeches and howls.

When I think of Spring in Maine, one particular element casts itself forthwith in mind: Mud. It is humorously ironic that the one thing that should bloom most profusely in Maine’s Spring is mud. All of the frostbitten, and snow ridden ground slowly begins to transition from the hard, unforgiving constrictures of winter into the mellow and viscous elevation of Spring. The forest is relaxing its shoulders. Throughout the whole winter, clenched and poised like a human-being hunched over in the wind, the forest waited, and now, upon Spring’s arrival, it is able to drop its subzero posture and resume a more languid and easy disposition. For Spring is in fact the time of relaxation, enjoyment and revelry. The coldly exiled animals and birds return home from their southern journey. The air is exemplary: A fine reminder of the fortitude and indestructible presence of life. The sun begins to redefine itself; shakily rising higher into the sky and traversing a greater distance. It casts out its golden branches with a new found vigor; bending its luscious boughs lower in a generative and fertile desire. It heralds the beginning of something pleasant and warm.

But, as before, this something does not come without a cost. The mud elicited by Maine’s Spring takes on the character of an amorphous Hollywood creature: An assiduous, animate and ubiquitous blob. One cannot escape it. Clothes become covered, and cleaning habits must be elevated to a higher, more intense level if anything is to remain free of the stuff. This is likewise fitting for Maine: Spring is a hassle; something that has to be dealt with as much as it is enjoyed. This applies most aptly to the people of Maine. Though the Winter is often times struggled through, it construes a sort of macabre cleanliness that is not found in other, more lively seasons. This is because of Winter’s close relationship to Death. Death is, in one way, a creator of sterility – a quality allocated to things that are not of life. Life is a raw and muddy mess: Life is blood and bones and sweat and tears, the organic fundament of being. All of this is encompassed by the mud of the Spring. It is water and Earth, (The same things, many will argue, that Man is made of), combining to form a viscous trough from which plentitude can emerge.

Spring is fecund and lascivious in this way, and can become ostentatious - though Maine avoids this latter effect. Instead of the infatuation and rhapsody that Spring instigates in other, warmer areas, Maine exudes a more prideful, humorous and indolent scorn. It greets Spring graciously, but also with a quiet sort of indifference. What need does a pine tree have for the return of something that it has not lost? Here is another way in which Spring is camouflaged and brushed aside by Maine: In other, less coniferous areas, Spring returns to a deadened and gray landscape of the ragged, winter-torn bones of trees, but in Maine, Spring returns to instill green life in only a fraction of the forest’s population. The vast preponderance of Maine’s pine trees look at Spring and laugh, saying, “What need do I have for such a fleeting adornment?” They, like Maine itself, are too cold-hardened, strong and old to be amazed by the return of the transient flocks of Spring’s finery.

The muddy buoyancy of Spring eventually passes, though, to once more allow the fruition of summer, and so on and so forth, like a strange eternal merry-go-round. Maine accepts its allocation with perseverance and dignity. It is a state that is made of the stuff of struggle itself: A wise and weather worn grandfather, still retaining a spritely spring in his bones. It is a blended texture of the vast integument of the sea and the stolid meditation of pine robed mountains; a land like few others: A complete individual unto itself. I have only lived here, full time, for a few years now, but have been coming to this state for the entirety of every summer since I can remember. I like to think that some of the rugged perseverance, stoically balanced and grand beauty intrinsic to this state have permeated into my blood. I like to think that I am, or have become, in some way, an atom of Maine, a piece of its being, a permutation of its gprimordial being. Few people can really lay claim to this – in terms of the Earth entire – and so the quality of “Maineness” should be held onto, by those who possess it, as something special. The people of Maine are the emanations of the forests, rocks, and waters of Maine. They are the animated blood of the state: The proliferation of a grand way of being. I can only hope that this grandness may continue to carve a passageway through time. For it has certainly earned the right.

Thoughts from Midnight on The Compass of Time

Winter is not a season but a place in time. It is a person and a destination. There is no drawing nigh of the state of Winter but only a travelling North to it, by us. Spring is in the East: The place of dawn and the rising sun. Summer is in the South: The fruition of life. While Autumn waits patiently in the West: The colorful confluence portending the present weathers. All beings, states or things are not only such but also times. I am as I am only as I am now. Ten years from now I will be someone else, even though I will still be me. Subsequently each “me” is a destination in time. Winter is a continuous place in our timeframe, a land eternally travelled through.

This winter has been exceedingly fruitful and powerful. A flurry of snow storms pummeling Maine in an inculcation of cold, white jabs: ONE TWO THREE FOUR - a barrage of powerful punches finding an ill-prepared opponent.

This winter exhibits the concussing power of Winter: Its ability to elicit sharp, bare bones, ragged rock and frigid, ice wracked climates. And yet Winter seems to be a lover of quietude and contemplation. For all its might, power and raw fury Winter still adheres to principles of stoic silence, detesting the jubilant noises elicited by other seasons. Winter is a finely tuned Giant in this way.

Is it not a funny coincidence that snow should be white? Almost as if the body of Winter has evolved alongside man and all the other creatures. For perhaps in another age snow was black but found this color to be unsuitable (as a result of its interaction with light), and so the agent of Winter changed, mutating its color until it found the most formidable armor- whiteness – to defend itself against the rays of the sun. This color appropriation is ironic though, considering how much death is born upon Winter’s arrival.

All of Nature’s ornamentation is heartlessly revoked and scattered insignificantly like fine dust in its presence. Winter is truth in this way: The barebones of life reduced to absolute necessity. There are no gaudy displays for Winter. It demands a much more rigorous condemnation of superfluity. It takes and it tests.

There is a drastic change and decline in the primary method of conversation between human beings when Winter is blooming most ferociously, or when we travel into its bowels most deeply - becoming digested by it along the way. There is a lack of pleasantry in conversation, much like the forgotten flower blossoms and lush, green leaves of Spring and Summer. There are hands buried in pockets and fashion looses place to functionality. Conversation is brisk and to the point. There are no extraneous comments or remarks.

But what does this show? What is the point of Winter? Could it be a humbler, a reminder of the transience of beauty? Or is it a harbinger of the knowledge that all will pass and that forces much greater than man control the state of his happiness?

With this recent, pleasant thawing one can say we have been awarded a brief, Eastern vacation from the depths of Winter. Perhaps Chronis - or whatever name we decide to allocate to that most omniscient force: Time - believes that we have learned our lesson from the North. Or perhaps Winter is just experiencing some minor indigestion, and is simply waiting for a moment when it can bite back with an even greater and more tenacious voracity. The best I can do is simply accept the test that is offered and learn as much as possible from Winter’s quality and mind.